Toilet Talk: Giving Back To New York

I was walking to work and was caught in between Don’t Walk signs where I didn’t know which was going to change and I can cross either way to get towards my destination. When I learned quickly that I couldn’t cross going West as a Bus honked at my stupid ass, I hopped back onto the sidewalk to continue going North when BLAM-SPLATS-MO! a low construction sign hit me on the top of the head. Of course the shock of the impact made me react 20x worse than I should have, and I picture me to look like an overreacting retard. You’re welcome New York for the comic relief.

Baseball’s Worst Call

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Umpire-Tim-McClelland-makes-the-worst-call-of-al?urn=mlb,197210

Just wanted to post my agreement with the above blog: I too feel that last night’s call against the Angels was perhaps worst in baseball history for an umpire who was right there to make the right call. I’m a Yankees fan and can put favoritism aside to say: “what the hell???”

It didn’t affect the outcome of the game thank goodness. I’d hate to have to listen to all these dumbasses who say “oh the Yankees got lucky” or “oh money bought you that win” or “oh I hate my own life so there’s definitely no good reason but I’ll say it anyway: Yankees suck man!” Sports really brings the hater out in people.

Last Week’s Subway Review

I have to redo last week’s review because the wonder that is my iPhone app for WordPress pissed out on me.

-As usual all trains taken to and from the city were delayed.

-A lady (pictured below) was doing her makeup. Standing up. In front me. Whilst I was seated. Whilst I wore light pants. If she wasn’t applying khaki-colored makeup and it fell onto me I’d be screwed with stains. Note: makeup is supposed to make you look better, right ladies? Then…WTF…

-Fifi and I sat comfortably in our seats when a man and his 3 year old son got on the packed train. He was lifting the kid and Fifi asked if we’re giving up our seats.

“I ain’t gettin up,” I exclaimed.

“Well I can’t make a move until you do because I’m blocked in.”

“Crap.” I got up.

-When I did give up my seat I ended standing up in front of a female um, little person (“midget” for you immature people). The train jerked around and well-

“What’s protocol here?” I asked Fifi.

“What do you mean?”

“I elbowed her in the head!”

“Stop laughing and say sorry you idiot!”

I stopped laughing. “I can’t say sorry- I’d only be ‘half’ hearted about it!”

Yea, one of those weeks.