• Top Rated

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 8 other followers

Cars will be smashed


I am trying to be a good person with my cars. I get it. People will bump into them in parking lots and what not. But what about the frigging cunt who hits her door into the side of your car while YOU are still in it? Clearly she was scrambling so she couldn’t be bothered. I wanted to yell at the cunt. But Mrs. Brownman and I had to catch the train. Mrs. Brownman said I could stand back and wait for an apology I won’t get anyways, but she had to catch the train.

All this just boils down to one thing. Women can’t really care for their possessions unless it’s their nails or hair. Leave them to care for their cars, tvs, phones….you’ll either find these things banged up or thrown on the floor in anger. Sheesh.

Advertisements

English Jew on Fire


Brownman: i wanna ask English her weight. based on height and girth, i think we weigh almost the same. so the other day (stop me if i told u this), they got cupcakes on Good Friday and she started talking about how its passover…and she cant have cupcakes, and it isnt fair cuz she’s (all of a sudden) jewish. So goes on to say that she and this other chick in the office (who is also jewish, lesbian-style) are gonna bring in motzah balls and not share with us non-Jews

Mrs. Brownman: lol wow

Brownman: blah blah whine whine about jewishness

Mrs. Brownman: douchey

Brownman:  A coworker dude was saying that in the conference room (only a few feet away) they heard her whine with the door closed during this rant. Him and whoever else was in the room began bitching her out instead of carrying on with his meeting. She always complains!

Brownman: and then today she says how if u have a dog, the dog has to eat kosher too.

else u gotta give the dog to someone to watch during Passover.

Mrs. Brownman: lol WHAT?

Brownman: well u know what u hoe beast? apologize for taking our savior and innocently killing a man, then maybe we will respect one of your 450 holidays

Mrs. Brownman: lol for realz and as reparations u should give us cupcakes

Brownman: yes filled with unkosher goodness

Mrs. Brownman: while u eat balls

Brownman: yes, ur motzy messy balls can be enjoyed year-round…i dont care if u eat them in front of me in ur chosen elite club. she says some really inappropriate anti-christian stuff i swear. i heard one time there were christian activities going on downstairs outside the office building. and she said “oh those crazy christians are at it again” Coworker dude was baffled…cuz he said he was the christian she told that too. i mean…ur telling me curling ur side burns, not showering, and wearing nerf frizbees isnt crazy? touching food and calling it kosher isnt extreme?

India at the TGIF


My cousin and I hit up a TGIF for lunch. Bunch of Indian dudes waiting tables. Cool. No issues. Just get us a seat.

Oh goodie, a seat on a platform away from the rest of the tables- in the middle of all the corner tables. So, we’re in the center of ALL these tables. Hmm. Kind of calls us out amongst all these other white people, see as we’re the only 2 Indians encircled  by white people. You gotta side with us, right?

Nay.

Not one Indian dude showed us love until I asked a random one to get us service. 15 minutes waiting for anyone to take our order. Bitchass-skinny-Indian-dude finally takes our order and it finally shows up. A good 25 minutes later, while waiting to order another drink, we finally just asked for 2 rounds’ worth each. I mean, it’s lunch. We want to get plastered for the rest of the work day. Work with us Indian brother.

So I had to finally ask other table attendants to get our Indian waiter to get the check. Screw that. We need to get out. We got there at around 12:40, and it was already 1:47. Really? I need to wait this long for service during LUNCH?? LUNCH??? I saw other tables getting more love.

My cousin finally decided he’d go up to the register where waiters manage bills and he handed our table’s bill to whoever was available. His intention was to pay, take a leak, and come back. I had to head on back to the office, um say, last year? So I joined him while he paid and the waiter that served us asked “what’s the matter? Was my service not good? We split the tips…”

I noticed for “gratuity” the bill recommended $15 and my cousin did only $5. I said “dude, your service sucked. Get over it.”

“But we split the tips.”

“We waited forever.” He continued to lull over the bill as we left. F that. I’m in the city, I deserve a little more respect from a fellow Indian. I mean, they have like 20 arms, don’t they?

Women Ain’t Entitled


I’m not happy how entitled women are feeling these days. F that. I get to the elevator, and by default I’ll let the ugliest most fattest broad in the world get on before I do. But these hoebags get there and don’t even wait for me to offer my spot on the invisible line for the elevator. They cut me off and walk right up to the doors when they hear that “ding!” What kinda bullspit is that? They do the same crap when they walk on the streets or wait to go up the escalators. Skip me as if I’m some Third World worker. Bitch, I make more than you by default because of my tiny pecker- back of the line like the ugly slut you are.

Pass this over


Sorry for the hiatus from blogging. I can’t decide if this is fun anymore. But I digress.

No, I’m not Jewish so I wasn’t celebrating. But funny you brought that up. We got this chick at work that is all-of-a-sudden Jew because she heard that there’s a free trip to Israel if you are in fact Jewish. I’ve referenced her as “English” in the past. English has become hardcore Jew since her trip from what I’m told, even though her mother isn’t the one who’s Jewish.

In her out-of-office e-mail this past Tuesday, she put “I’m out of the office for Passover…” Really? You gotta let the world know why you’re out…especially ‘cause of Passover? What if that offends me?

Which it should offend me. I mean, when she left for her Passoverings Monday night she let us all know she’ll be out for Passover but still working late at night. As she said good night a coworker replied “happy holiday”. I wanted to say “yea, thanks for killing my savior you hoe”.

Hmm, maybe I do like blogging. Very therapeutic.

Shave that chin boy


Brownman: so bust it. this jew dude. new to the company

Brownman: maybe…a month now?

Brownman: we’re all jokey and such…don’t really bust balls or anything. but last night on the way out, i sent a file for review, and he wanted to talk about it, but i sorta snapped and said we’ll chat tomorrow

BrownmanL: today he said “yea u really shot back yesterday” and i said “sorry man, just had to be out and i didn’t have the time to spare.”

Brownman: then he says after a bit “so when are u gonna shave that soul patch u got going there?”

Brownman:  i was like “whuuuut?”

Brownman: “yea…that p-diddy soul patch”

Mrs. Brownman: what????

Brownman: i said “it’s not really a soul patch…but yea, it’s fine.”

Mrs. Brownman: so he’s trying to joke around with u?

Brownman: i think so. and it’s cool to joke around… but when i snapped or talked to him generally…never do i bring in appearance or anything personal. and i dunno…i feel sorta offended. me. of all people. its so random what troubles me

Mrs. Brownman: lol aww…well it is rude what he said. cause it’s not like you’ve open the joke door to him…there’s a certain point in time when it’s cool to start joking with someone. but that’s after u’ve kind of tested the water

Brownman: right. i’m thinking to myself “i never asked u to shave that yamaka  off ur head” to jew boy

Mrs. Brownman: lol

Brownman: cuz traditionally…the chin fuzz is muslim. which is why my grandmother hates it so much

Mrs. Brownman: yeah it’s not like u’ve been lazy growing out ur beard or something

Brownman: so i mean…what if it were a religious thing?

Mrs. Brownman: true

Asians and their habits


Brownman: 2 questions actually.

1) why do elder asians spit so much? they are not jewish, thus no phlegm could build-up from all the hard “h”‘s and many “c”s

Asian Friend: lol I don’t know why…We just like to spit

Brownman: 2) why don’t most asians possess common courtesy? one of them cut me in the line to the ATM machine this morning, and didn’t even end up using the machine right away as she fumbled for her stupid asian atm card. i will not accept “well we can’t see as a race”. that lack-of-vision excuse is old…i want answers dammit. the floor is yours.

Asian Friend: I would have punched her. We asians are superior to all other races. Why should we wait on line?

Brownman:  because you bombed Hawaii. what communist bombs hawaii? clearly your race is no friend of america when you bomb an oasis

Asian Friend: We built the railroads

Brownman: no wonder the trains are always delayed, you built them too curvy…”slanted” if u will

Asian Friend: haha

Brownman: lots of derailment

Asian Friend: i hate you