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Another Disadvantage of being Brown

Being dark has many disadvantages. Sure, some folk politely say “gee I’d love to have your color, Brownman.” And I refrain from saying “yea but you’d never want to actually BE Indian. Just steal my color like you did my land and still remain white.” But I don’t for fear of an uncomfortable silence where I’m forced to say the obligatory “I’m just playing, I love white people.”

Sorry. Didn’t mean to get so deep. But it brings me to my point of why being this dark is a disadvantage.

Ashy skin.

I mean, c’mon. As if I don’t have enough to worry about being dark – I need to worry that my dark chocolaty skin can be frosted by a white ashy crust? So annoying. This ashyness just sneaks in and snatches onto my elbows or feet. It’s as though my own dark skin is rebelling against being dark by ashing out!

I’m sure the white folk out there would just loooove that, aye?



I get little pop ups throughout the day for e-mails I receive to my personal e-mail. The pop ups just show a certain amount of characters before it cuts off the rest of the “From” and “Subject” lines. I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw an unread e-mail from “Dicks Sporting Goo” Yummy. Sounds like something only a woman or gay dude can stomach.

Pass this over

Sorry for the hiatus from blogging. I can’t decide if this is fun anymore. But I digress.

No, I’m not Jewish so I wasn’t celebrating. But funny you brought that up. We got this chick at work that is all-of-a-sudden Jew because she heard that there’s a free trip to Israel if you are in fact Jewish. I’ve referenced her as “English” in the past. English has become hardcore Jew since her trip from what I’m told, even though her mother isn’t the one who’s Jewish.

In her out-of-office e-mail this past Tuesday, she put “I’m out of the office for Passover…” Really? You gotta let the world know why you’re out…especially ‘cause of Passover? What if that offends me?

Which it should offend me. I mean, when she left for her Passoverings Monday night she let us all know she’ll be out for Passover but still working late at night. As she said good night a coworker replied “happy holiday”. I wanted to say “yea, thanks for killing my savior you hoe”.

Hmm, maybe I do like blogging. Very therapeutic.

Asians and their habits

Brownman: 2 questions actually.

1) why do elder asians spit so much? they are not jewish, thus no phlegm could build-up from all the hard “h”‘s and many “c”s

Asian Friend: lol I don’t know why…We just like to spit

Brownman: 2) why don’t most asians possess common courtesy? one of them cut me in the line to the ATM machine this morning, and didn’t even end up using the machine right away as she fumbled for her stupid asian atm card. i will not accept “well we can’t see as a race”. that lack-of-vision excuse is old…i want answers dammit. the floor is yours.

Asian Friend: I would have punched her. We asians are superior to all other races. Why should we wait on line?

Brownman:  because you bombed Hawaii. what communist bombs hawaii? clearly your race is no friend of america when you bomb an oasis

Asian Friend: We built the railroads

Brownman: no wonder the trains are always delayed, you built them too curvy…”slanted” if u will

Asian Friend: haha

Brownman: lots of derailment

Asian Friend: i hate you

The Boss is Ready for His Load

My gay boss is out…and this coworker and i are cracking up here. We’re speculating why he’s out. Many a gay joke right now. He has been growing a beard all week and last night mentioned he had a date…So naturally we’re talking about him being able to retain a load via said beard. Or…him growing a beard in anticipation to combat any incoming razor burns. We figure women shave for a date, gay dudes beard-up for one…and the jokes continued.

WTH I like Avril

Brownman: “all my life ive been good but now
Brownman: im like
Brownman: whhhaat
Brownman: the hell”
Brownman: oh that avril and her catchy ways

Mrs. Brownman: what?
Mrs. Brownman: oh Avril Lavigne
Mrs. Brownman: u weirdo

Brownman: suck these nuts wench
Brownman: furry too
Brownman: till i manscape saturday


I had a classic case of “what the hell” today. Not as extreme as “what the fucks” where you’re like “seriously? That’s why I’m stuck here late at work? ’cause you can’t do your job?” No I was more in a “really? That’s what you’re focused on while someone is dead?” moment. 

The guy that sits next to me at work seemed to have also gotten a haircut the same weekend I got mine. His is barely noticeable- he typically has short hair regardless. I, on the other hand, let my Indian-thick bush sprout from the depths of my head and get lazy…it might be up to a month before you see my scalp again. 

Yet 2 people ask this coworker: “hey you got a haircut? It’s short, looks good.”

I don’t need the compliment. I’m neither diva nor chick. But really? Am I that irrelevant that my haircut goes unnoticed? Am I that much of a fly on the wall or obviously non-white that my haircut serves no greater good at work?

I was right in being pissed at the immigrant barber for not understanding what a “Ben Affleck” haircut was.