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Goo


I get little pop ups throughout the day for e-mails I receive to my personal e-mail. The pop ups just show a certain amount of characters before it cuts off the rest of the “From” and “Subject” lines. I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw an unread e-mail from “Dicks Sporting Goo” Yummy. Sounds like something only a woman or gay dude can stomach.

Nigeria On My Mind


The Central Bank of Nigeria has sent me an e-mail with the subject “PAYMENT”. Mmhmm. I’m glad they are keeping tabs on me out there in Nigeria, so attentive to us New Yorkers. I would love to meet the people who actually open these e-mails, even if by accident.

Job Flopportunity


Got an e-mail for a great opportunity – though I’m wary of clicking any links…I dunno why. Perhaps the range in salary?

“If you are still seeking a professional or executive career in the Marketing sector or other fields, with pay between $60,000 and $500,000, please update your information here…”

Random E-mail Joke About Women Drinking


Got this one in the mail from a friend. Cute, especially things one may loss to the side effects. The funny thing was the original e-mail was sent from the HR department to my friend and a few others.

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IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you some times wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.
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Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
– Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration
– Erotic lustfulness
– Loss of motor control
– Loss of clothing
– Loss of money
– Loss of virginity
– Loss of bladder control
– Attraction to ugly men
– Table dancing
– Headache
– Dehydration
– Dry mouth
– And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of Margaritas may make yo u think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

*Margaritas are also available in generic form, known as tequila. Just as effective and costs only a fraction.