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Valentine’s Day As Per Growing Up

I am not a romantic. I grew up in a world where you buy cheap CVS balloons, chocolates, and cards for your school sweetheart on Valentine’s Day or their birthday. And you purchase on the day of the event for fear of storing at home where your parents would see you wasting your lunch money on all that V-day “crap”. Plus, walking with that crap to school made you look like a ‘tard so you’d hit up the CVS or stationary store closest to school and dump the crap in your sweetheart’s lap before 1st period began so she could carry it around all day. 

I’d like to say I evolved since my junior and high school days thanks to movies and television, but like most men post-school we’re dating or married to a more sophisticated hoe than school and in the media. You’re forced to be thoughtful and romantic-as-possible all year long so when Valentine’s Day rolls around you’re tapped out of original ideas. Dinner and a movie is a regular Saturday night. Anything else is way too pricey that your woman would kill you for dropping so much cheddar (money) on one night. 

And let’s face it. A guy has to think about planning well enough so that the entire night isn’t taken up. You need to allot enough time so that your lady isn’t too tired and there’s an opportunity to get some nookie. Why not? As a dude you spend so much effort that you want to relax inside the vag at the end of the day. 

I refuse to wait until Steak and BJ day on 3/14 to collect on my reward. 

One Response

  1. L and I don’t do V-Day. When you’re single, it’s too depressing. When you’re not, it’s too expensive and stressful. As L puts it, “it’s a lot of work just to have sex”.

    If you can only devote one day a year for love, you’re doing it wrong.

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