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Ass To Save My Shins


Again, I travel to the city on New York transportation. Yummy. I use the railroad as opposed to the subways…which is a high end solution to bums on your way into work since they can’t afford these prices. One of my first decisions as a railroader is to decide how to sit on some of tinier seats occupied by life-sized Oprahs and pre-stomach-stapled Star Joneses. 

Today I opted to go ass-first to the person sitting next to me, since directly facing me in her seat was a plus-sized Shamu. If I sat ass-first into my actual seat I’d end up shattering my shin since her … knees? … were blocking access to the seat. The only option was to offer my ass to the poor old lady to my left. It’s okay though, the old lady might have been a relative because she was Indian and I can’t tell family from the locals. 

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