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The Adventures of Brownman and Darkie: Synbad Revisited


Ok so maybe it’s too soon to revisit something that’s only 1 blogging post prior to the next, but I gotta tell you this before I forget. You think there’s an actual logical order to how u blog? I saw this movie called Daybreakers 4 days ago that I still have yet to blog about due to forgetfulness!

So Synbad. Former online hoe my friend Darkie boned from an AOL chat room back in college about 10 years ago. She was frightfully big and manlike. Adding one more sentence here to form the textbook paragraph of 4 sentences or more.

After banging Synbad one time she began calling Darkie more often than he’d like. And paging him too. Just had to add that because we weren’t part of the cellphone crew as of yet- only beepers and pagers. Darkie finally decided to take advantage of the situation.

“Dude, she wouldn’t mind a threesome with us 2.”

Mind you I was single at the time. But not desperate. “Um isn’t that gay?”

“Nah, just don’t look me in the eyes.”

“Don’t we call her ‘Synbad’ and ‘Mankind’ for a reason?”

“What else am I gonna do with her? Let’s meet her at this party she invited me to- I think you just need to see how she looks one more time.”

“I’ll go to the party, but I am not going anywhere near a naked Darkie.”

But Synbad cancelled on Darkie. He was very upset. “Who the hell is she to cancel on me?” We went to the party anyway and who did we see there? Synbad. She said she decided to go last minute because of her friend’s continuous banter. Darkie mingled with her at the party but when we left the party he immediately said “Fuck that bitch. We must destroy her like the fat linebacker she is.”

Till this day I have no clue where that conclusion derived from. But I was dumb and said “we wait for her to get home one afternoon and then we tackle her. You got her address?”

“Yup.”

“Good. I have the wooden bat. We shall call the bat ‘Massive’ because the concussion she receives will be massive.”

Are you rolling your eyes yet reader? I am too. And this stupid story now on the Internet forever.

In the following days we planned what we’d do. Darkie and I would approach Synbad from behind as she walked home from her 1PM class and he’d tackle her from the high right while I tackle the legs from the left simultaneously. Afterward I’d pull out the concealed Massive and we’d finish the job.

And there we were, days later, waiting for her to get home. I didn’t think we’d actually do this but we stood from across the street of her house waiting. Darkie then noticed a car in the driveway.

“Shit. I think that’s her brother’s car- a Grand Am. He’s a cop.”

“You jackass!”

“Shit there she is!”

“What the hell do we do?”

“Darkie? Brownman?” Synbad saw us. “What are you guys doing here?”

So I was told to give them a moment while Darkie spoke to Synbad. I walked around the block. When I got back they were making out.

I believe Darkie ended up banging Synbad a couple more times before they called it quits. Makes you wonder why men go crazy over women that don’t even look remotely attractive.

Oh, also makes you wonder what the heck was wrong with me for even going along with this.

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5 Responses

  1. Hey brownman, didn’t darkie end up being a state trooper, ironic ehh, his whole policing career would have been over b4 it started. As for your involvement in crap similar to this, I believe continued till you met wifey. I think you needed balance in life, and she gave it to you. Why not tell people of the machete incident by hunter college. Or the bat braking windows in queens, etc. Etcm

  2. What machete incident? And thank you texmex 🙂 I hope I have made him a better person.

  3. We were walking from hunter and met up with Michelle, KENLEE’s girlfriend from Sports Place we worked at. you had the machete in your backpack, showed it to her… don’t recall, why you took it to school, but it was in your backpack.

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