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The Hoe Cut Me Off


Driving to work today I had the opportunity to sit back and enjoy Howard Stern as they replayed some really old clips since 1985. I championed a smile the Kool-Aid guy would be proud of. My car ride – aside from the time I got into an accident on the way to work – is the most relaxing and fun part of the day. Even going home in traffic I’m calmer these days because I know I’m driving AWAY from the Cunt monster herself that I have to call my “boss”. And in the morning- well even though I’m driving toward the monster I am still not traveling by train to the bitch.

All is well…until this morning. I swear, I don’t make this crap up. I spot the Cunt’s car on the highway a lane over. Now my morning is ruined because I need to pretend that I’m not paying attention to people on the road and am in my own world. I also need to fall a few cars behind to eliminate the risk of her noticing me. Yes, it’s probably a bit narcissistic to think she will notice me- but just like in a train where you see someone you know in the morning: you avoid them by pretending you’re sleeping so that you don’t have to ruin your morning routine where you’re constantly telling yourself “I can do it, it’s only Tuesday but I can do it.”

And to justify the name “Cunt”, Cunt cuts in front of my car without signaling. There you have it. Morning routine destroyed.

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