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Theories I Invent: The Hot Chick & Poker


Growing up you do your best to justify your decisions. One of my decisions in the 7th and 8th grade was to date this Indian chick. And that led to the creation of a stupid theory as most kids might when they try to understand life. My theory was “hot chicks don’t know how to play poker”. To prove my theory I’d ask all the pretty girls in the class if they played poker and their answer would be “no”.

Then one day India showed interest in learning poker.

“You can’t!!” I said.

“Why not? All you guys are playing during lunch…”

“Um…well because I have this theory going. All hot chicks can’t play poker. So you can’t play.”

“And I’m not hot otherwise?”

“Well no.” Bad move. We fought for a while because I was as blunt then as I am now. I sort of gave the impression that I had to prove to everyone that she was decent looking. And if I showed you all a picture of her back then…oh boy. You’d swear my standards were between freshly laid asphalt and horse.

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5 Responses

  1. Wait where did we have hot girls in junior high? As I can recall both from memory, and the good ol yearbook, there were at most some eehhhh girls, but definitely not “hot”, sorry brownman, but we can’t call any of those girls “hot”

  2. Hot chicks that play poker are dangerous.

  3. THEN. Your standards then. Sheesh.

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