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Shut Up, Witch


My work place, “Tired”, just lives up to its name. Nothing but “Tired” attempts at jokes or conversations. Social awkwardness is all I run into here.

“Your tie, is it supposed to be like that?” a (clearly foreign) lady here said. Quick background: she’s one of those people that have an assistant-to-an-authority job which makes her feel higher and more authoritative than she really is. Hence the balls on this witch.

“Um. Yes. My tie is as intended upon purchase…” I said. Not sure how you respond to a question like that.

“I don’t like it when ties are broad and wide like that. I just don’t.” At this point she has attracted an audience of nearby cubicle occupants. “Don’t you agree, Vag?” she was now looking for a puppet in the nearby Vag- a miniature Cunt of the office.

“Yea, definitely. No wide ties.” Vag doesn’t contribute much to society, as you see.

“Ok, Witch. You don’t like my tie.” I do my best to never to engage this said “Witch” because her reputation is to talk your ear to death with her opinions and allegedly chaotic office fiascos. I mean, where do I take this conversation? Announce that I don’t like her native country and their lack of producing anything more than just her sorry-ass-excuse for life?

Mind you, fellow readers. All two of you. My ties are some of the best ties you can find out there. This foreign social retard can watch me strangle her with one of these ties the next time she opens her phlegm hole.

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