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Bigger Is Better


I don’t get toilets in America. Why do they get to be long and vast in the workplace, but lean and pansy in homes? I would love to have a toilet like they do at work where I don’t have to worry about my wang accidentally hitting the bottom of the toilet seat when my anus puckers up randomly during a dumping session (aka dropping a ‘Shima).

Luckily in a heavily trafficked public toilet I don’t have to worry about this…it’d be nice to get the same comfort at home. I’m tight on space with these woman-friendly tanks – it’s almost comical I bet to see my gorilla ass on these tea cup toilets. Does anyone feel like an oversized ogre on their toilets? I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I can detach my tool like Sarah Jessica Parker.

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