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How To Get By At Work


So here’s the daily plan. Do some sort of work for the day that can be e-mailable. Wait until 5 minutes before you leave work for the day to send it out. Make sure the e-mail is pretty detailed so that people might need those 5 minutes to read it. Send, hit the restroom, and go home.

What if you don’t have a detailed e-mail to send everyday? Send 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon, and 2 before you leave (again, 5 minutes prior to leaving then on to the restroom for you). Makes it look like you worked all day, and those last 2 e-mails at once make it hard for the reader (likely your boss) to determine which is more of a priority. They’ll hopefully just decide to deal with it in the morning or reply too late.

The detailed e-mail must remain open at all times so that you can ALT+TAB between it and your Chat windows should someone pass by. It’ll look like all the typing you’ve been chatting away with was actually work in this elaborate beauty of electronic glory that will be skimmed at best anyways. Just retype the previous line when you ALT+TAB in case you have nothing else to actually write when onlookers pass behind you.

On any given day, you can tell when your superiors or the nitpicking naggers have nothing to do. You hear them on the phone yapping away and bitching about meaningless work crap that really didn’t need their attention in the first place. Rather than focus on important work tasks at hand…like bringing in more money for the company…they are firing away stupid e-mails that need little-to-no-attention for the next 5 weeks minimum. You need to ensure these days you hold off on too many e-mails. Next thing you know you’re staying at work late or explaining yourself when all your e-mail really discussed was bullshit resurfaced from weeks ago as you ran out of things to e-mail about in the first place.

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