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Toilet Talk: Rough Night with Fever and MTV Movie Awards

Sitting on the toilet I have time to decipher what was real or not from last night’s dreams and episodes. It was a rough night. All day anything I ate was immediately converted to poop- almost like the reverse Midas Touch. I then tried to hit bed but it was beyond hard because I was both hot and cold. Oh, and in the background the MTV Movie Awards were on.

Which made it impossible to sleep. Not because it was good- nay, the show sucked with Tom Cruise as that Les whomever character from Tropical Thunder. Fifi (fiancĂ©e) couldn’t understand why J-lo was there dancing with him…perhaps the two had nothing to do ad needed to get back in with the younger crowd? Whoa, just dropped a deuce finally, please hold.

So yea, the award show had nothing but bleeps and curses that got through anyway. Why? If it were done for laughter, I think they missed the mark because in most cases any actor going up their to curse was swearing for the sake of swearing. And each loud bleep didn’t help me fall asleep.

I actually woke up twice last night in pools of my own sweat- just bizarre for the Brownman since I don’t usually get under the weather much. I got up at around 12:30 AM to change my soaked clothes. Was I imagining the Award Show sucked? Perhaps I was too fevered-out to realize its brilliance?

I recall the bad guy from Harry Potter was trying to give his acceptance speech but Will Farrell and Mark Whalberg kept talking over his speech…almost like Kanye hogging Taylor’s spotlight. Maybe that’s the thing to do now…but it was just annoying and as funny as a 13 year-old trying to be funny. They just aren’t.

Sigh. I didn’t hit the can as hard as I’d like. I guess the Poop Midas Touch is gone…


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