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The Imp


We went camping this past weekend. And I will only call out the most important thing that happened. The weirdness that is a guy called “Impresionante”. He literally named himself. After the Spanish translation of “Awesome”, and shortened to “Impresi”. So we all had to call him that. I will call him “Imp” for short.

Imp’s story is super funny. His real name seemed to not suffice, probably used to be Bob, so one would hope the story stops there. But any douche that wants to rename himself must have more of a story. And Imp does.

-He actually has an accent…he says “buggar” and “crickey” a few times that I thought he was Australian…
-…then I found out he was from Connecticut originally. Clearly a MADE UP accent!
-He doesn’t work, rather just mooches off of his girlfriend from what I can tell
-He loves….LOVES…showing off his abs. The first day of camping he was wearing what I can only describe as a belly shirt that I’d love to see my fiancée wear
-With the belly shirt, I kept looking over every time he was bent over setting up a tent because human eyes are naturally drawn to any flash of skin. It was gross

So Imp has an interesting redneck-like truck. It looked bullet proof with monster truck tires: almost like something a heavy metal person would drive in as he felates the devil.

So nightfall hits…and he had the urge to ask his girlfriend “should I turn on my flood lights?”

“Sure, you wanna turn them on? Go for it.”

Imp heads to his truck-thing, and apparently was stuck! These monster tires were stuck in dirt?!? How? Each tire were the size of my car. And after 15 minutes, he finally got out. 5 more minutes were spent taking off the covers for the flood lights. And then…he turned them on. For about 2 minutes.

“Great, now we can go look for that dead body out in the woods…” I joked with Fifi (fiancée). I saw no point to shining these flood lights, and I bet everyone thought the same thing. This guy was just strange!!

He definitely stole the show for me.

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