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Toilet Talk: I Suck At Driving


Even on the toilet all I can think about is the crappy driving I have been doing as of late. In less than a year I have gotten 3 speeding tickets, 2 of them in my home state of New York. What the hell? Where’s the fire? No where, Brown Man. There is no fire.

My father is understandably (is that a word?) upset because I’m under his insurance. A lesson learned for my kids: they are getting their own insurance! Even at almost-30-years-old I still don’t know how to drive. I blame New York. These assholes ride my bumper all the time to get me to speed up, just makes you angry and as a guy entitled to engage in the pissing contest. Oh man, and if it’s a woman riding my tail I get 2x as pissed.

So I’m off to mailing my plea and hope the judge likes my gay letter. Sigh. This ticket can easily end up costing over $450. Good job Brown Man.

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4 Responses

  1. dude, i’ve gotten 4 speeding tickets in less than 6 months. if i get one more i lose my license. i know how you feel.

  2. We just got back from Hawaii. It’s weird out there. Not only do the speed limites rarely go higher than 25, but the locals always drive the speed limit!

    The only impatient drivers tailing us for driving the limit were all convertable-driving tourist yuppies.

    • Wow, we have a state that adheres to their own speed limit. With all the hills and windy roads I’d imagine going above 25 (which seems Driving-Miss-Daisy-kinda-slow) might put you in the Pacific!

      You have a blog detailing your encounters? Else, we must meet to discuss!

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