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Know It Alls


People who are the “actually” and “as a matter of fact” kind boil my water. I can not stand a person that feels they need to offer more information to a conversation or just correct you all the time. I’m guilty of being a recovering “actually” guy, so I have been on both ends of the correcting a person in conversation. It’s almost like a rush – I’d even double check someones facts days later and wait even more days later to see them in face just to say “remember when you said X? Oh you remember, it was like 8 days ago. Well actually…”

I seriously try to stay quiet and let these douchebags go on about their information and cite their sources. But sometimes I just would rather stick a fork into their stubbornly shut ears which close only when they are trying to make their point. At this time in their explanation there is no way to get in a word edgewise so you’re left to stand there, fork in hand.

The worse type of know it alls are the ones that get condescending with you for not knowing it all like them. They may even talk to you like you’re a baby- your ignorance is so darn precious. That’s when you realize that these people don’t really know it all. ‘Cause if they did, they’d know that you’re ignoring everything they say after that point and are thinking if you put your favorite shows to record on DVR. Oh and also thinking of which disease you’d like to wish on this person.

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