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10 Things Cuntinued: I Hate Jersey’s Shores

Oh I’m sorry- did I spell “continued” wrong in the title of this blog? Sheesh, darn spell check. Anyways, onto the cunt rag that we call “New Jersey”.

Their coveted “Jersey Shores”. We went to visit these shores for the weekend, specifically for the beach and boardwalk at Seaside Heights. I have heard nothing but good things about this area. And I must say, I call “bullshit” on these people I called “friends”.

-I expected the Jersey people to be there. Orange tans, rude teens, and Staten Island-esque didn’t bother me. So let’s move on to my next point:

-They charged us $5 to use the beach- true to New Jersey form since they charge you for ANYTHING in that horrid thing we call a “state”. Okay, so $5 per person is not horrible. $20 for my party of 4 for the day. The old lady taking our money took a look at all our belongings and said “if you plan on using the water, they’ll let you- but don’t go in too deep because of the high waves due to Hurricane Bill. And no alcohol- that’s a $50 fine.”

Very well, fair enough I suppose. So my cousin took back all the beers to the car and we all hit the sands. We began tossing the football around…and after a while the lifegaurds blew the whistle at us. “No ball playing!” they yelled.

No ball playing…on a beach…Interesting. We got very pissed. Now here’s the thing: the sign that announces “no ball playing” is no where near the ticket booth where you pay for entry to the beach. Plus, the lady who raped our wallets SAW our ball and said nothing. IN ADDITION the boardwalk SELLS footballs and other rounded tossing objects that looks very much made for a beach. Clearly not the Jersey beach, but perhaps made for a REAL beach. Oh, and no frisbee throwing either.

What also sucks is that 1 lifegaurd didn’t say anything to us tossing the football beside another group of people who were tossing a frisbee. But then he was replaced by Lifegaurd Dick who blew the whistle on us and a couple of subsequent people. Why so uptight about a ball?

In the end, we could not get our money back. All you can do on this beach was…sit on the sand or touch the water (they really didn’t let you swim because of the waves). So far, 3 things I hate about NJ. More to come.


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