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Now A Little Lighter

I just manscaped my chest and underarms in preparation for this weekend’s trip to Cape Cod. I wanted to trim a little sooner so that things look like they’ve grown in naturally and there’s no evidence of trimming, but at least it’s over with. It also gives me a good stretch as I try to reach my back too. I wonder if I lost a pound in weight- holy crap did I let myself go!

Well at least I look bigger now. Tee hee.

Let’s now read relevant e-mail from the fans:

Dear Brown Man,

I get a lot of dingleberries in my arse. What can I do to prevent this?

-Assproblem Bill

Well Assproblem Bill,

I think you are probably wiping too often and too hard. When dingleberries form, chances are you just go way up there repeatedly against your dry asswalls. Or, it’s probably time to separate ass from toilet paper and shave those butt hairs. Yup, it’s true. Just be sure to not use those blades with the razor on both ends. You may accidentally shave both cheeks at once with uneven pressure. Yup, there’s a science.

Thanks all, keep reading!


2 Responses

  1. Dear Brown Man,
    What is a condom?
    – 15-year old minority teen hooking up at the bus stop

    • Dear Minority-

      Condoms are magical unicorns that prevent your uterus from housing sperm. If you don’t try it I’m gonna make sure we steal your fetus for stem cell research. Damn kids and their damn early sex.

      -Brown Man

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