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Preparing for the Dead


I write here as my balls fry under my laptop wondering…what do I do at the wake tonight? It’s a wake for my friend’s grandmother whom I’ve known my entire life…that I can remember at least. I have been to maybe 2 wakes total, one maybe a few years back. I don’t get freaked out or moody over the 2 dead bodies that I’ve seen, but I just wonder what the protocol is. Fifi (fiancee) says you just show up, pay your respects, and bounce.

What’s my respects? Like, do I go up to the body, say “Hey..so uh…how you’re feeling?” I hope there’s a few people before us so that I can pretty much follow their lead. Luckily I know who is family to the deceased so I won’t follow them to the tooth if they’re in front of me bawling.

Then there’s the whole “I’m sorry” and “I know how you must feel” thing that you say out of force of habit…but I hope I can think of something better or less generic. Because those lines are reserved for the people that don’t know the family of the deceased- but I grew up with these people so I need something snappy and heart felt. Like “she’ll be missed, but I’m hear for ya champ.”

I even had to ask Fifi what exactly I should wear to a wake…as I get older I have a feeling I’ll be going to a lot of these.

3 Responses

  1. There really are no quick phrases. Just show up and stand there and listen when someones starts talking about the deceased. Share a story about an experience you had with the deceased or with a friend of the deceased. You said you knew her for all of your life that you can remember, so hopefully you have some good stories. Listening means a lot.

    • Good words bush, I went in and actually didn’t need to share a story. There were so many people there, all saying their piece that I would not have even had the chance to say anything. Now I feel silly for thinking I “lucked” out because after hearing what everyone had to say, I sorta wish I threw in my 2 cents.

  2. You did what you could for your first personal experience. You can’t do anything about last time, but next time you will be more experienced. I hope you do not need to practice these skills too often, but we all must go at some point. Educating yourself is the first step toward making the right moves. Be proud of yourself for going. A great number of people would chose not to go because they are not sure how to act or react. Great Job My Friend.

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